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Thursday, March 12, 2009

on my way; almost there

Today I went to the doctor's office and was expecting to hear that I am now an "undetectable" (below 48 viral load) HIV positive man.

I am really happy to announce that my T-cells have gone up from 444 to 500 (465+ is great - so I am doing well)

Although I am not undetectable, my viral load has dropped from 476 to 119 (a 75% decrease - obviously I am making dramatic progress)


* The next text result date will be 5/8 and my doctor, like myself, assumes I will be well under the 48 mark by then.

love your friend,

You have been caught Jey Walking! (NOW...Walk it out!)

Monday, March 9, 2009

one of those days

Have you ever had a Sunday at church where everything seem to be directed at you and the Spirit was comfortably present? I don't have a lot of Sundays like that and certainly haven't had a numerous of recent weekdays like it either.

Yesterday was our ward conference - the first since I've moved here. We are a small ward with about 25-40 regularly attending elders and 50+ sisters; our conference was simple but the power of it was grand.

First our awesome Bishop spoke to us about second chances and the "good news" of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The bulk of his talk revolved around the following story and the painting above that it depicts.

The Gospel of John (John 5) relates the touching tale of a man, ill for 38 years, waiting at the pool of Bethesda for a miracle of healing.

Jesus, seeing him in this wretched condition, asked him, "Wilt thou be made whole?" The man told Jesus that he had no one to place him in the water at the time the healings were to take place. Jesus responded, "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk."

The man was healed immediately, his body changed by the words of the Savior.

When he was asked to rise - no questions asked,
no complaints, no doubt - he rose!
When he was asked to walk - no questions asked,
no complaints, no doubt - he walked!
When he was asked to obey - no questions asked,
no complaints, no doubt - he obeyed!
When he was asked to have faith - no questions asked,
no complaints, no doubt - he was faithful!
When he was told he was made whole and to go and sin no more
no questions asked, no complaints, no doubt
he went on his way thankful to Jesus!

This isn't a new lesson or revelation! I know Jesus Christ is the my Redeemer and Savior - but this story, the painting and the talk from my Bishop combined provided me with further light regarding the Atonement and my relationship to Christ and my Heavenly Father.

It's funny because my friend recently told me that after years of looking for answers he finally got them after he stopped asking questions and just listened. It didn't make sense to me at the time because I analyze and ask questions everyday - it's my nature and my personality to do so - but as I am writing this - it came to me, of course after hearing the talk that I am failing to listen to God and to the Spirit, but instead am constantly cutting them off with my incessant questions and curiosity - which, as my friend says, are only met with questions. You thought Jesus only answered questions with questions in the Bible - think again :D

After the talk the choir, which I am in, sang a beautiful version of "Abide With Me" and then the Stake President spoke about our "dreams" list and how Satan tries to minimizes our dreams and goals. As the Stake President said, if he causes us to believe there is no opportunity, even if there is, if we believe him, he has won!

I found recently that the gospel is more simple than I believed growing up. In Doctrine & Covenants 93:1 says it one verse: "Verily, thus saith the Lord: it shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am"

Anyway - I am just thankful for days like these - it really was just one of those days.

You have been caught Jey Walking!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

phoenix rising

yesterday was burned by phoenix’s fire

yet in the ash embers of hope remain

new dreams give birth in despair

shrouded in darkness i mourn what was

to remember what will be no more

then like the phoenix i will rise

with renewed passion glowing as fire

ash will give way to flame

like the phoenix i will soar again

( based on Amy Sondova's "Phoenix Ashes" )

you have been caught Jey Walking!