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Thursday, May 29, 2008

self check-out

This is merely a rant and deep philosophical pondering...

I thought to myself - why can't all of life be self check-out.
Why can't I check myself out of school, work, family, the airport security gate, the DMV, the post office, jail, court, the grocery store.
Why do we continue to have clerks and cashiers...

Really it may benefit society if we became more self-reliant and did things for ourselves. Of course, we'd still need a supervisor to assist us when we screwed everything up and broke the machine...

And if we have self check-out for life - why not have self check-out for death too...oh, hmmm I guess they do...

well, they should rename it to self check-in (cause when you're dead - due to your self checkout) you're really just checking in to the next stop

yeah that's it... (The Summer of Adventure - Spruill Summer Camp has started!)

You've been caught Jey Walking!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

baby got back?

Everyone knows Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" - right? Well this post reminded me of his ode to big butts that he loves...

Alright people - I am not a hater of a large and round glutemus maximus - some are quite intriguing while others are mesmerizing. However - tonight I am pondering the obligations and precautions those with a healthy back have to deal with. Plus, some ranting and raving about SOME people who won't control themselves.

You ever wonder why semi trucks have large mirrors on the side of their doors. It's obvious that they use them to see around the sides of their trailer. Tonight, I wonder if they are even more important when backing up...

This brings me to my rant. If you have a big butt - or maybe you're just a bold, big & beautiful person all the way around and around - I am thinking that you have come to realize this and maybe have accepted that you're large and in charge. Again, I have no problem with this - my issue is that if you know it's there then act like it's there. I am not sure the saying - USE IT OR LOSE IT is that appropriate...butt you know what I mean...

Forgive me for the horrible analogy, butt if a semi needs large mirrors to see when backing up maybe a system or device to help the big-boned and healthy back people to maneuver carefully through stores with displays of breakable items would be handy. This is not to say that stores shouldn't be more mindful of space usage and making such small paths - in fact it's downright discrimination.

My rant is mostly because I wonder why - when I see a woman with a big butt backing up between displays - she doesn't look where she's going before the wine is knocked to the ground by her runaway, reckless caboose...I also wonder why when I need to get by a bigger person who is clearly blocking the path substantially doesn't move - they slightly lean forward as if because I am of a more slender persuasion I am supposed to squirm, slither or "squeeze" by. It really would take - what - three seconds to just move out of the way...I don't know...if you want to pin me against the wall with your butt - DO IT and MEAN IT - please no half ass efforts.

Anyway - anyone that knows me knows I don't hate plus-size people because most of them have plus-size hearts and beautiful personalities to match - and like I said their assets are nice too :D

You've been caught Jey Walking!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

don't mind the naked man

So, I started Monday working for Spruill Center for the Arts in Dunwoody as an Assistant to the Director of Education or "Mindy Me" - I came up with it the name today 'cause her name is Mindy...hmmm, this is why she told me not to repeat to others...

Anyway, she told me today that I should keep a record of all the tasks I am asked to do around the center because she promises me it will never be boring, mundane or simple.

Today would be a great example of that - I was asked to carry a undressed full body male mannequin across the parking lot into a classroom via the main hallway. This is not really the best part - the best would be that in order to keep all of his parts together I had to carry him by his crotch/behind and neck. This mannequin is life size and naked and the hallway was full of little girls with blank looks on their faces and mothers standing by while I passed through.

Certainly this is not the worse or most embarrassing public event I've ever been involved with - but it definitely set the standard of how odd things are probably going to get as the children's Summer Camp begins on Monday.

Here's to a fantastic and wild summer ahead!

You've been caught Jey Walking!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

you've wasted like 15 mins of your life

This is a life happening of mine that occurred about a month ago - I am inspired to share it with a larger audience (meaning more than just my three co-workers).

I work at a not to be named specialty grocery store in the bakery department - it pays the bill so don't ask. No, I'm not a baker to answer your question. Anyway, there was this one evening, that was busy and full of customers asking questions and requesting special orders that I had no idea how to answer or fill - needless to say I was on the verge of being mildly discomforted and annoyingly frustrated.

A woman in the not so far distance was with her two children (maybe 7 & 10 years old) who were hungry and bored. They were walking aimlessly around the store when her child ran into a table and sent a few packages to the floor off the table. The fall opened the boxes, so the cookies touched the floor and rendered them useless. She tried to pick them up but was obviously waiting for me to do it for her (sort of like when someone asks you if they can help right as you're finishing). I went to her and took the mess away - smiled and walked away.

A few minutes later the woman with her kids came to the counter where the desserts are kept. She got my attention to which I came to the counter to assist her. I am letting you now that at this point I wasn't holding the "accident" over her head - so I came to the counter with a smile - ready to serve.

She preceded to try and make an order of cookies here, lemon bars there, a cake or three and just kept changing her mind about everything. Meanwhile her kids are whining and trying to get some free food. I wanted to offer them the cookies they knocked onto the ground and wasted - but I am not that kind of person at work :D After completing the grueling task of meeting her demands and fitting everything tightly into a box - making it look like a victorious Tetris board - the woman walked off - but not too far...

The woman then got on her phone close enough to the counter so that I was sure to hear her say... " I wonder if your grandma already got a cake...we should call her...Mom - I'm here at the not to be named specialty grocery store and have just picked up a lovely array of desserts and I was just...OH, WHAT'S THAT? (making sure I could hear her) YOU ALREADY BOUGHT A CAKE...I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO RETURN ALL THIS STUFF THIS YOUNG MAN PUT TOGETHER FOR ME SO NICELY DONE - IT WAS SO TEDIOUS - I FEEL BAD RETURNING IT - BUT IF YOU ALREADY HAVE A CAKE...ALRIGHT... LOVE YOU TOO..."

My back was turned to her the entire time - though I knew that she knew that I knew I could hear her conversation. She walked back to the counter and in the most patronizing voice possible - said - "You did such a nice job - I'm so sorry - but we already have dessert." I took the box from her, half-smiled (but with glaring eyes) and tossed the box on the counter as she walked away.

Once she left I was talking to my co-worker and was like (talking to the customer who was no longer there as if she were)... Why didn't you call your mother first before wasting like 15 mins of your life. Don't say sorry to me - I get paid to be here. Say sorry to your starving and bored children who were dragged around - knocking cookies over they were so tired of being there. Don't think you've wasted my time - you've just wasted yours... (*note: I was laughing and smiling while saying this because really - I wasn't mad)

The moral of the story is: You've just wasted like 15 mins of your life!

You've been caught Jey Walking!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

how the spirit speaks

If you know me, you know my passion for the piano.

As funny as it may sound, I have struggled with having the gift and talent to play without reading music for about 20 years now. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given to perform for others, learn & grow and come closer to God because of it.

Today I played for a bit, thanks to Mark Elton leaving his piano at Jacob Terry's home, where I live, and when I was finished I felt an overwhelming feeling come over me that, admittedly, brought me to tears. I walked away from the piano and thought - what I just played sounded amazing - how the heck did "I" play that? That's when I felt overwhelmed with emotions of astonishment, gratitude and humility. I don't know how to play the piano - I sit down and play out what I am feeling or am inspired to play - which can range from church hymns, showtunes, classical to my "own" compositions.

As many of you know, I have accepted an offer to complete my graduate studies in NYC this fall and do plan to move there. I originally became interested in NYC to go to musical theater school (AMDA) or even, possibly, Juilliard to study piano. Later I talked myself out of it for numerous reasons - most of all - I am afraid I could never support myself on an "artist's" wage.

After playing today, my desire to really study and learn music and piano started to flicker again into a rampant wildfire. This is my passion - piano and music is how the spirit speaks to me the most. There are so many doubts in my head about following that path, not to mention - I am already lined up to go to school for my other passion - nonprofits & urban policy.

I know many of you are musicians - and don't rely on your music for a steady income. I guess I wanted to know how you feel about music and your talent in your life. Did you ever face the dilemma I face and how did you deal with it?

Anyway, I just wanted to jot this all down and get it out.

You have been caught Jey Walking

why not?

Well, this is my first time posting to my blog I have had for about a year. Tonight, I have asked myself, why not? Soon I will leave Atlanta for New York City and it will be hard to stay in touch with everyone - even with email and Facebook.

So here it blog "Jey Walking"

I feel like I should introduce myself - but I think most of those who will view this already know me - so if you don't, you can request an introduction - for now I am going to move along.

There's not much to say tonight, but I did want to simply warn those in the Atlanta area or those visiting the ATL to stay away from Startime Entertainment. It's bad enough it sounds like either a strip joint or porn production company or both...

A friend and I dared to go underground through their doors only to smell the stench of cigarettes and... well, we'd need a CSI unit to figure out what else was going on there.

After a few steps forward, feeling very disturbed, we heard some bad music and spotted one or two people in the distance - all I can say is that it didn't feel right. My friend and I made eye contact and were feeling equally disappointed in our decision and equally scared. Then came his classic line "You're too Jewish and I'm too white for us to make it out of here alive." We basically had no chance of surviving whatever horror lie further down the hallway.

Anyway - just know that you have been warned by a white guy from Alabama and a Jew from San Diego - both known for their keen sense of judgment and observation skills, etc. Please, for the love of all that is good - don't venture down that path...

You have been caught Jey Walking!