If you know me, you know my passion for the piano.
As funny as it may sound, I have struggled with having the gift and talent to play without reading music for about 20 years now. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given to perform for others, learn & grow and come closer to God because of it.
Today I played for a bit, thanks to Mark Elton leaving his piano at Jacob Terry's home, where I live, and when I was finished I felt an overwhelming feeling come over me that, admittedly, brought me to tears. I walked away from the piano and thought - what I just played sounded amazing - how the heck did "I" play that? That's when I felt overwhelmed with emotions of astonishment, gratitude and humility. I don't know how to play the piano - I sit down and play out what I am feeling or am inspired to play - which can range from church hymns, showtunes, classical to my "own" compositions.
As many of you know, I have accepted an offer to complete my graduate studies in NYC this fall and do plan to move there. I originally became interested in NYC to go to musical theater school (AMDA) or even, possibly, Juilliard to study piano. Later I talked myself out of it for numerous reasons - most of all - I am afraid I could never support myself on an "artist's" wage.
After playing today, my desire to really study and learn music and piano started to flicker again into a rampant wildfire. This is my passion - piano and music is how the spirit speaks to me the most. There are so many doubts in my head about following that path, not to mention - I am already lined up to go to school for my other passion - nonprofits & urban policy.
I know many of you are musicians - and don't rely on your music for a steady income. I guess I wanted to know how you feel about music and your talent in your life. Did you ever face the dilemma I face and how did you deal with it?
Anyway, I just wanted to jot this all down and get it out.
You have been caught Jey Walking